Friday, January 9, 2009

Why the change?

Because it's better for me (nice...way to start with a preposition!), because I'm getting older. There could be lots of reasons and I'm OK with all of them. I started a pretty huge task right before Thanksgiving...working on me. Wow what a concept, make yourself better in order to improve you and your relationships. For those of you that know me well, you know that the previous relationship was not...healthy would be a good word. From the beginning it was not something I should have been in. It took me a long time to figure that out, but even longer to recover and heal. I'm not anywhere near where I want to be. I've just started and I have LOTS of talking to do about it. Sometimes the affects rear's it's ugly head and that's not fair to anyone. I have great kids, the love of my life, a few great friends, and an awesome family. I am blessed and have so much to be thankful for, sometimes I forget that. This has been my first week back to work after a two week hiatus. I came back to a mountain of things to do which has not made me motivated. I've been sick and didn't have a voice for most of the week (that is not fun when I have to answer the phones). I've been tired and reflective too. I found a blog that I liked. There are two projects on it. One called '101 in 1001.' Basically, you preset 101 tasks you want to accomplish in 1001 days. They should have a result that is measurable or defined by you. They must also be realistic and stretching. The point is to put some effort into it. As I'm making this list I'm realizing it's going to be longer then 2.5 years. Some of them are pretty hefty and they just can't be done right now. I like having the goal though. The other is '100 things that make me happy.' This is a big one for me. Sometimes I get stuck in the negative and have a hard time remembering what all I should be thankful for when things get a little rough for me. I'm working on both lists right now. I have to wonder how much of this is stemming from the birthday that will happen later this year. I really am fine with turning 30 and I'm looking forward to enjoying the next decade, whatever the reason I'm glad I'm doing it :)

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